One of the named traits that majority of Filipinos have that I would personally would never understand— the fascination of other people’s love affairs. If you happen to be reading this and if you happen to be a fellow Pinoy like yours truly, you’re probably already making a guess as to where I’m heading at with this entry.
I admit that I too have fallen for the trap too many times in my lifetime. Of course, we were all young once and we do a lot of stupid things during our school years. One of the mistakes that I have made at that stage is that I had become someone I feared before— being a gossip monger. I hated gossip all my life since the day I first learned what that word meant,1 but when I discovered this new stage of girls having crushes on boys and vice versa as a sixth grader here in America, that’s when I became blind with the whole issue.
When I learned my friends having crushes with certain guys, I start to have this indescribable feeling of excitement, so much that no matter how much I like or hate the guy they’re in to that I even start supporting them, cheering them on, giving dumb love advises I knew nothing about. It eventually got too much through high school that my gossip mongering and my nosy attitude cost me a lot of broken (and yes, unrepaired) friendships.2
It was one of the reasons why I was never part of any groups or cliques back in middle school or in high school. It wasn’t just because of that one little sin that I’ve committed, but simply because it was also for my own good too. Even though I have made plenty of friends, I don’t consider one or two as being “best friends.” In fact, I never really believed in the whole “best friends” concept because whenever I hear that term, I feel like I have to limit my friendship level to others in favor of just one. But anyway, more on that subject much later.
Going back to the whole gossip mongering about other people’s lovelife, it wasn’t until college that I learned that I wasn’t the only one who have committed this “I gotta know everything about ___ and ___,” etc. habit. I realized that there were a lot others— Filipino girls to be exact— who do exactly the same thing. And then I even realize it more at a family reunion when the elder relatives whom I haven’t seen forever would make “frank” comments such as “Why don’t you have a boyfriend yet?” and “If you don’t get married, you will be an old maid.”3
And another sign also is this really BAD habit of Pinoys seeing “loveteams” out of celebrities that they watch on TV, regardless if the pairing is fictional. If we were talking about cartoons and anime and books, many of us do fall in love with the love life of two main characters, etc. However, if they were real people portraying roles of lovers in a particular fictional movie, or a TV series, these Pinoy fans even make a fuss about them as if those actors should be dating in real life. I don’t even want to dwell in to this whole pointless “loveteams” issue because this isn’t what this entry is about!
The above examples I mentioned are the reasons why we, especially Pinoys, are so fascinated and fussy about other people’s lovelife, regardless if we’re close to the involved parties or simply just actors we see on TV or in the movies. I asked a few relatives and even a few friends and they would only give me one reason: “Because Filipinos are such hopeless romantics!”
Unacceptable answer if you ask me LOL.
Being a hopeless romantic does not give you a right to meddle at other people’s lovelife as if your life depended on it. I mean, what exactly are you benefiting from knowing about someone else’s lovelife? Don’t you think that feeding off happiness from someone else’s business that you’re not involved with is wrong? After all, I’ve gone through all that as a youngster and learned all of this the hard way.
While I was looking for someone else’s views regarding the Pinoy fascination towards other people’s lovelife, I came across this article from the PinoyExchange Forum Community. It’s a pretty good article, I admit, but it still doesn’t explain my question.
What the heck are “loveteams/love teams” anyway?
I’ll write about that some other time. Too sleepy to write any further.
On the sidenote...
- and because I am referring to my childhood in the Philippines, we call it tsismis. [↩]
- Either that or maybe because they decided to choose their man over their friends who supported them, so to speak… [↩]
- “old maid” = spinster [↩]